Turning 40...a reality

So it is Monday, I am a few weeks from turning 40, my daughter was such a challenge today, I listened to a very inspirational message at church yesterday, listened to a song passed along from a friend that hit me like a wall. I have wanted to blog for so long, but I think I keep putting it off because I have so much I want to say that I don't know how to start. So here is my start:O)

The thought of turning 40 in a few weeks...FREAKS ME OUT!! WHY?? My husband keeps telling me I am crazy and it is just a number. I think the reason why is because I think to myself...40 years?? What I have I done in 40 years?? I taught for many years, hopefully I made an impact on some my students lives. I have a 3-year old daughter who I am so blessed to be at home with currently, I have an amazing husband who gives me the gift of being at home everyday. But, what are my accomplishments, what have I done? It really makes you reflect. I was so thankful for the message in church this past Sunday which was pretty simple..." God sees in you what other's don't". Maybe what I have done hasn't always been seen or acknowledged or even recognized, but God has seen it. I needed to hear that because I currently am having a hard time with this life changing age...for me.

We have been trying to have another child..no success yet...and I think I need to trust that whatever happpens this is what was meant to be. Samira is the joy of my life, the best gift I could ever have been given. I think all of us mom's feel that way, but the possibility of not having another child has been a weight on my shoulders. The thought of turning 40 at the same time we are trying is a stress I wish I could let go of. How do I do that?

.... I let go. These 40 years have gone by in a "Blink"....a small quick flash. The memories are amazing, sad, happy, hysterical, loving, humbling and most of all full of life. I love my life right now. I am so blessed. So I haven't conquered some HUGE mountain..or traveled the world, so to speak. I have a beautiful family that I love and loves me back. I have an amazing extended family, a Circle of friend's that I couldn't live without. I love to give, my heart is HUGE and if anyone needs anything, I am that person. So I am turning 40, yup, it kinda sucks. But I am so happy to be here to experience it and I hope the next 40 are full of life like these past have been.

From father's day session

This is one of my fav's. Reminds me of what my life is about. Thanks to Charla Blue:)